Tokiko Kurosu (
walktodeath) wrote2022-08-18 10:56 pm
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Week 1, Thursday
[ It's been a remarkably non-bloody week, for what has been announced on Monday. Tokiko keeps waiting for somebody to die and it's... nothing. Ironically, Murder Circus might be the least death she has seen in quite a bit. She doesn't know what to do with it.
She doesn't know what to do with herself either. She's almost tempted to start learning circus tricks at this rate, just to have something to do.
But there's Raven, looking like she equally has nothing to do. Talking to Raven is better than circus tricks. ]
I'm surprised we're all still alive.
[ What a greeting. ]
She doesn't know what to do with herself either. She's almost tempted to start learning circus tricks at this rate, just to have something to do.
But there's Raven, looking like she equally has nothing to do. Talking to Raven is better than circus tricks. ]
I'm surprised we're all still alive.
[ What a greeting. ]
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It's just... overwhelming. To not have him there. [It should be a relief but... when you've spent your entire life telling yourself that every feeling you have is something to be ashamed of...]
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This... probably doesn't relate, but I've also fashioned my life around my father. He adopted me at a young age and gave me all that I had, so I felt my place in life was to match his expectations.
Now with him gone, I can decide for myself what I want to do. I'm... finding there isn't much at all.
Do you want something for yourself?
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...A friend of mine did the same thing. Shaped himself after the man who adopted him. He found it... suffocating, after a while. But even when he tried to escape that shadow, he still acted the same way.
I don't know. I wanted... to spend my life with my friends. But they're all gone. I spent most of my life carefully not wanting anything at all. It'll take some getting used to.
If I survive this game, anyway.
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And Tokiko has no desires of her own.
The only difference is that to Tokiko, not wanting anything came easily. It's nothing she ever had to be particularly careful about - simply responding to the world around her had always been enough. ]
Our lives are so unbelievably different that I am starting to find it surreal how much our current situation has in common.
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Seeing someone haunted by a similar loneliness is... odd.]
...I suspect we've both had our own turns at being the sole survivor, right?
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I suspect the scale of my losses is a little smaller than yours but it still encompasses everyone I was close to - my entire large family and my only friend.
[ Not that she's that torn up about most of her family. They were hardly family to begin with, given Tokiko had never been able to be honest to them until very recently. It was a difficult bond at best. ]
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[They lost all of human society beyond fringe remnants driven underground or corporations who sold out to Darkseid like LexCorp.
But it's not like the human race was... hers to lose. Not like it was Clark's.]
I lost my friends, my mother, and my home. Well, I lost my home twice. Once to my father, once to another monster.
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[ She tries out how that feels to say, but then she just breaks into a smile. ]
That just sounds weird. You and I are past that kind of platitude.
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[She returns the smile with a genuine one of her own. Which is more of a rarity. It's not like she's ever been one to smile over her trauma, that's more Beast Boy's deal, but there is a comfort in finding something amusing in the morbid nature of their conversation.]