Week 1, Thursday

[walktodeath]

[ It's been a remarkably non-bloody week, for what has been announced on Monday. Tokiko keeps waiting for somebody to die and it's... nothing. Ironically, Murder Circus might be the least death she has seen in quite a bit. She doesn't know what to do with it.

She doesn't know what to do with herself either. She's almost tempted to start learning circus tricks at this rate, just to have something to do.

But there's Raven, looking like she equally has nothing to do. Talking to Raven is better than circus tricks. ]

I'm surprised we're all still alive.

[ What a greeting. ]

Comments

[azaroth]

[Hmmm. She doesn't think that makes Tokiko a worse person at all, mainly because her own guilt won't allow her to accept the idea. There's always been a feeling for her, that every moral victory she wins over her father, proving herself to be something more than what he wanted her to be, was less her own victory and more a victory of the hands that made her.

It would be so easy to just embrace her bestial nature, to kill and conquer and to join her father's side in ruling the world. Or it would have been. But she didn't, because there were others there to teach her that there were better ways.]

...I understand that.

It's not fair that those are the choices we're given though, is it?

[walktodeath]

It isn't.

[ 'It isn't fair' is the kind of thing Natsuki would have said. Natsuki, who would always get upset on Tokiko's behalf about realities that Tokiko herself had readily accepted as-is.

Looking at her own condition on somebody else, Tokiko can understand it at least a little bit, that idea of 'fairness'. ]

But I think it's pointless to lament it when that won't change a thing anyway.

[ .... ]

What are you going to do, after all this?

[azaroth]

I try not to think about what is and isn't fair, generally. It'd drive me mad otherwise.

[But still. It needed saying. And maybe now she can feel the sheer amount of anger she's kept buried inside of her at her father and even her mother for being stupid enough to try an occult ritual she didn't understand.

Tokiko's right. It doesn't mean a damn thing, what is and isn't fair.]

...I don't know. I can't go home.

Will you?

[walktodeath]

[ Tokiko shakes her head decisively. She's got nothing waiting for her at home except the family fortune (useful, but not compelling on its own) and possibly jail time (extremely not compelling). ]

Definitely not. Though I haven't decided what to do either - if going anywhere is worth it at all, what I will do in that place...